happiness

Are you listening to your inner voice?

By Cheryl Paige

It was a few years ago when I was hit smack in the side of the head with the realisation that I couldn't hear myself. I didn't know what I thought, what I wanted, or what I needed. I had let other's thoughts and opinion, desires and needs outweigh my own. It was sad, but true; I had completely lost touch with and silenced my inner voice. 

In order to start to hear and then to listen to my inner voice I had to make some changes. It was a process and it's now something I do every day so I never find myself without access to this invaluable guidance. Here it is for you to try.

1) Recognize The Need for Silence and Stillness in Your Life

"The answers to all my questions lie within me."

The fact is that you, and only you, know what is best for you. We often lose sight of this and turn to others to tell us what is best for us, what they think we should do, if what we believe is ok, and if they agree with what we want.

 If you are in a state, like I was, of depending on other people to guide you, you may start to feel resentful and controlled. It's ok to ask for advice, but ensure that you are giving yourself the room and the time to get clear about what you think and need. 

You can do this by getting still and quiet. 

Stop. 

Find a quiet place where you can just be still. Give yourself time to quiet your mind. It's essential to get out of your head and move into your body. 

Breathe. 

Take a breath in and allow it to move through your body. As you continue to breathe pay attention to what is going on in your body. What feelings are coming up? What sensations are you having? 

Ask. 

Once you have relaxed and your mind has slowed down, ask yourself the question that you are contemplating. 

Listen. 

Now listen for the answers. They will come. 

2) Pay Attention to Your Instincts

Instincts are your inner voice speaking to you. They sound like "humm."  They feel like the hair that stands up on the back of your neck, or the gut feeling you get when you just know. They are the red flags you see, but too often ignore. 

You don't need to intellectually understand. You need to get out of your head, start listening to your instincts, and start to trust them. Stop silencing them. They are how you speak to yourself and often you can't explain why. You don't need to explain why.

Begin to pay attention to your instincts and take time to contemplate what the message may be. Ask yourself, "what is whispering to you right now?" "What is the message I am meant to receive?"

3) Be Authentic & Speak Your Truth 

Now that you can hear your inner voice again, it is time to start to take those masks off and to show up authentically as you. Let everything that you are whole heartedly shine brightly: all of your strengths, quirks, uniqueness, beliefs, and fears. It is now time to show up as you and speak your truth- even if your voice shakes. It is a lot less exhausting then pretending to be someone you aren't while silencing your inner voice. 

This will push you out of your comfort zone, but in the end you will feel amazing because you are being true to yourself. I invite you to begin to implement this process into your life and watch as your inner voice begins to show you exactly what you need. 

Beaming you light, love & happiness!

Cheryl Paige is an empowerment coach, teacher, and healer. At heart she's a gatherer of information from reading, inquiring and always learning and loves to share all of the knowledge that she has learned along this journey of life! In order to do so, she develops step-by-step processes for woman to follow so they can unleash their magnificence.

Cheryl offers a one-one-on Renovate Your Life Program and an online course Create The Life You Dream Of. Both programs are designed to help you become empowered, feel less overwhelmed, have more confidence and feel in control of your life again. 

Why Happiness Is Overrated // Blog Tribe

happiness-is-overrated

By Gauri Maini

What would you say if a child came up to you looking sad? You will reach out to comfort them. Instinctively, we know it is “not ok” to feel sad. It is kinda hardwired. I bet most of us have been conditioned to believe that feelings such as anger, sadness, and frustration are “not okay."

And I will admit that I have been quite taken by 'The Power of Positive Thinking' for a long time and this is what I have learnt. Fear is a faithful friend. It is always with us. It is what keeps us safe. It will never go away. It is also the reason we may get angry, sad or frustrated. So if I am really mad, I know that something important to me has been taken away from me and I fear that I will not get it back.

Fear serves another purpose that is hugely powerful. I believe fear is omnipresent so we can fly. Remember when you got that really BIG WILD idea?  Fear was probably right beside you, saying…“Oh, now that is stupid.”, “You will never be able to pull that off” “People will laugh at you.”

Know that thought? And I am sure you would have learnt/ read that we could just replace that with “I can do it”. There is another way. Which is to say, “yeah, it does sound stupid. I may not be able to pull it off. And yes, I may fall flat on my face.” So who can I talk to about this idea? How can I take this forward? And the most important question to ask yourself is “Why is this idea important to me?” “What about this idea is getting me so excited?”

The answer to that question is the secret held deep inside you that drives everything you do, the choices you make and is that light that guides you telling you what “feels” right and what “feels” wrong. It is your closest friend. The one you sit beside when they are sad. Just sit. 

Listen. Hold hands. Treat your fears as your friend. They are. When you feel sad, mad or just plain frustrated, imagine your friend has arrived. Do what you would do with a friend. Sit with them. Listen. Let go of your judgment for a bit. Go outdoors. And wait until your heart opens up and you understand why it is.

You can find Gauri embracing fear on her blog or running her business, A Wicked Scrub

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10 Ways To Love Your Life A Little Bit More

Samantha-Sunderland

By Samantha Sutherland

I don’t really believe in work-life balance. There is no magical balance, just choices, about how you feed your body and spirit that either make you happier... or don’t. So I’ve come up with a list of things that make me happier. I know if I do these things each day then my life feels free-er. I’m happier, I feel the love, and my business works. When I don’t? Well, things are a little bit tougher, caring for the little dude is a bit more stressful, I pick fights with the big dude, I feel lonely and I work really hard without getting anything done (that may be, in part, to convincing myself that scrolling Facebook counts as ‘work’). You know the feeling when everything’s just a little bit off? That. I’m obviously no saint though, and I don’t do all these things every day. But I try, and that’s all you can do, too.

Which brings me to my ten simple steps to get happier today.

  1. Sleep more. 
    Arianna Huffington famously recommended that we all “Sleep your way to the top.” Most of us run on less than a full tank, and lack of sleeps sends me to crazyland. After a few nights of deprived sleep I tend to cry at the drop of a hat, feel like I have no friends, think I’m trapped in this life I never wanted anyway... (so you can imagine, the newborn months were a piece of cake!). More scientifically, most people need between 7 and 9 hours of night, how much do you get?
  2. Move your body 
    And I don’t mean in a no-pain-no-gain-bigger-loser-crossfit-till-your-knees-break kind of way. I just mean move. In a way that you love, every day if you can. My top picks for happy movement are horse riding, hiking, and yoga. I go to the gym sometimes, and mix it all up, but I try to do something, every day. 
  3. Laugh 
    It reduces stress, releases endorphins (happy hormones), and works your tummy muscles. Plus laughing together makes you feel together, so it increases your connection to the people you’re laughing with. If you want the advanced version of this one, laugh at yourself! By being silly yourself, you will give permission for those around you to be silly as well.
  4. Learn something new
    You could also read this one as challenge yourself. I’m often not very good at the in-the-middle-of-it phase of learning, get frustrated and want to give up. But when I don’t, and I keep going, and then at the end I have a finished product (like my beautiful WordPress blog that I mainly did myself) then it is super satisfying. Stretch yourself, learn new things, keep on growing.
  5. Don’t eat junk food.
    Your health, energy, and vitality all rest on a healthy diet, it’s the foundation to enable you to do everything else you want to do. So eat lots of green things, and not too many things made of white sugar.
  6. Give up gossip
    I know a group of girls where there’s always some kind of drama. This one said that, and that one told that other one about it and analysed it until this one became the worst person. In. The. World. Then someone else jilted someone else, and all the drama swung around. Seriously, it was difficult to keep up with who was in and who was out, but even worse, I obviously couldn’t trust at all that none of them weren’t gossiping about me when I wasn’t around! If you gossip, people will fear the same of you. If you trust a gossip, there’s a good chance your secrets won’t be secrets for long. So just don’t gossip.
  7. Do more of what makes you happy.
    To paraphrase the Dalai Lama, in The Art of Happiness he says that to be happy, we just need to do more of what makes us happy, and less of what doesn’t make us happy. It sounds too simple to work, but try it out! Write a list of things that make you happy. Some ideas are: hosting a dinner party, reading a book lying in the sun on the floor, naps, spending time with friends, hiking, eating sushi, sending cards to friends, binge watching TV series on weekend evenings at home. Then try to do something from your list every day. 
  8. Do less of what doesn’t make you happy.
    Another one to help with this is believe that ‘No’ is a complete sentence. An example I always use is one of my close friends feels like she has to hang out with her husband’s brother’s girlfriend every time she asks. My friend doesn’t like this girl, and actively feels WORSE after seeing her, but regularly meets up because she doesn’t feel comfortable saying no. Learn to say no, and don’t hang out with your husband’s brother’s girlfriend anymore if you don’t want to.
  9. Connect with your circle.
    Your circle is whoever you choose. Your family, friends, mastermind buddies, online blogging friends, entrepreneurial support groups, mothers’ groups, old school friends. Whoever you love to be around. Then spend time with them. I’m not saying you have to turn into an extrovert-on-steroids like my good self! Just find the people you love and connect with them. In real life, not just online. Laugh, cry, chat, dream. Love is what gives everything meaning and growing connections grows the love that surrounds you.
  10. Connect with yourself.
    Talk about saving the best for last! To be truly happy, you need to know yourself. To know yourself means you need to spend some time in silence (meditate or do yoga) and you need to be willing to look at what shows up. Are you happy with who you are and how you are spending your life? Every day is a new chance to shape things how you would like them to be. Know yourself, so you know what dream you’re even chasing.

Bonus number 11 (since everyone loves a bonus!) - Play and have fun!

Samantha Sutherland is the excitable founder of The Everyday Adventure where she encourages women to live through play in their everyday spaces. It's possible to live your life joyfully, full of freedom, connection and adventure! She runs in person retreats and events, a Fun-Life Overhaul Challenge and blogs regularly. She's a corporate refugee who is a certified Health Coach, a mother of one as well as being chief fun-maker of The Everyday Adventure. Come join us and be happy! Connect with her on Instagram, on Facebook and via email: info@theeverydayadventure.com