Last night I had an incredibly beautiful coaching session with an incredibly beautiful woman.
Each time I coach someone, whether it’s face-to-face or via skype (as last night’s session was), time and time again, I’m reminded of three things.
No matter your current job, circumstances, age, relationship status, or where you may find yourself on your professional and personal development path, my wish for you is that these three insights will become the catalyst for powerful and transformative change in your life and business too.
1. We are united in our differences – celebrate them
When heart-storming with my coaching clients, if I remove the time, location, or a specific person or event the client discusses with me, I find we all typically face, and manage a handful of common fears, doubts and struggles, especially us women.
When you strip away all the layers and inconsequential tidbits of information, at the heart of it all, is a string of commonalities and a collection of burning questions, deep seeded beliefs (more often than not, ingrained in us from our younger, more impressionable years), fierce fears and overwhelming struggles of day-to-day challenges and hardships.
Each time I work with women in our soulful sessions, I hear them talk about their lives: what they struggle with, how they view themselves (often a misguided and somewhat destructive image of themselves); they speak of overwhelm and of not feeling good or worthy enough, no matter what they do; how their emotions get the better of them and how they need to take better care of themselves but don’t know how or where to start.
As I sit there, intently listening, holding their heart in mine, I’m reminded of how much women underestimate themselves and undervalue just how special, unique, capable and qualified they are – whether personally, professionally, or spiritually – to create and live any kind of life and/or business they desire.
We seldom take the time to celebrate and honour what amazing attributes we already posses or what wonders we have already achieved.
Ask yourself: ‘Where am I selling myself short?’ ‘Where am I already creating and experiencing greatness in my life?’ ‘What is it that I am in need of the most at this moment in time? Is it time out, meditation, a chat to a friend, sweaty movement, an accountability partner etc.’ ‘How can I learn to honour myself more?’
2. Self-care, self-love and self-worth are vehicles (and necessities) for change
When we aren’t looking after ourselves – mentally, emotionally and physically – we suffer. It’s that simple.
A misfortune yet realism when it comes to self-care, self-love and self-worth, is that they often get pushed to the end of our very long, and never-ending ‘to-do’ lists.
We postpone doing the things we know are going to positively impact our lives because we either think we aren’t worth it, that they aren’t that important or that it won’t be that detrimental to us; that it is selfish to put ourselves first, or that there are far greater, pressing and more ‘responsible’ things to do.
Think about this: what could possibly be more important than ensuring you are functioning and feeling your best every single day? Knowing that in order to show up in the world for others – family, partners, friends, clients, colleagues, pets, whomever – to best serve them, you need to best serve yourself first.
‘It is not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make happiness a priority. It is a necessity.’ – Mandy Hale
Ask yourself: ‘What do I love about myself?’ ‘How can I cultivate a positive mindset and grateful heart every day?’ ‘What three things are the most important for me to do today?’ Honour these and do these first. ‘What is my body, mind and spirit craving?’ Step into what your ‘Self’ needs.
3. Pursuing your passion is powerful
When I coach clients, it literally lights me up inside like a firecracker. I feel in ‘the zone,’ capable, joyful – knowing I am truly making a difference in someone’s life whilst simultaneously improving my own.
The added bonus? Not only do my clients learn from me; I learn from them, and am inspired in so many ways: at how brave and beautiful they are for reaching out to actively improve their life; not allowing fear, time, money or distances stop them from asking for help, and for making a conscious decision to take responsibility for their health and happiness.
When one of my treasured clients says to me at the end of a session, ‘wow, that was so beautiful, I really needed that and got a lot out of it, thank you.’ I thank them too – without them, it wouldn’t be possible to for me to revel in my passion – helping others and contributing to people’s lives.
When my clients talk about their budding passions – or of being on the path to discovering them – it lights them up like a firecracker. I see it in their face, that extra sparkle in their eyes, the unbridled joy in their voice, the widening smile and the peaceful energy they exude.
On the contrary, when they speak of being in jobs they hate or resent (or relationships, locations or circumstances), I see the opposite effect. Their posture changes, their voice wavers or goes down a few decibels; their joy starts to diminish, and they feel insignificant.
We must actively seek and pursue that which we love doing, our passion. Without that, life feels idle, lackluster and mundane.
‘Let the beauty of what you love, be what you do.’ – Rumi
May the beauty you love, be what you do too darling heart.
Ask yourself: ‘What are the things I most enjoy doing (personally or professionally) on a weekly basis?’ ‘What lights me up when I’m talking to others about it or reflecting on doing it?’ ‘What is one step I can take today to move myself to a better tomorrow?’ – ask yourself this last one every single day and you will be well and truly on the path to creating and living your best life.
With some intentional mindfulness, consciousness and discipline, integrating and applying these three tips into our daily lives will see us moving closer to turning our dreams into a reality – in our life and/or business – step by step, until one day we look back and realise just how far along the path we are.
Nicole Perhne is a certified Health & Life Coach, Published Writer, and Accredited Reiki Practitioner. She coaches women and guides them to find peace, purpose and freedom - physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially.
Through her heart-centered mentoring programs, she nurtures and navigates women through life’s transitions: health, relationships, career, spirituality and financial blocks, empowering them to step into and live life to their true potential.
Get your hands on a free copy of her much loved eBook, ‘Celebrate Your Spirit: 7 Soulful Ways to Spark Your Heart & Guide You to Peace’ here.
Image: Nicole Perhne