By Jess May
It is completely normal these days to be crazily multi- tasking, working late hours (sometimes even from home) and constantly being connected to the outside world via social media and smart phones. No surprise, really, but our relationships are getting pushed further and further down the priority ladder.
"My job isn't just a job. This is my career we're talking about."
"Its so hard to think of things that we both want to do when we actually have free time to spend together!"
"I just wish I could have the best of both worlds."
Would you be shocked if I told you that you can have the busy lifestyle AND a kick-arse, loved up relationship. Its not a fairytale. No glass slippers or witchy step-mother involved. You've just got to know how the to find the time, and what the hell to do when you've nabbed it.
What you need from your partner and what they need from you in terms of feeling fulfilled in the relationship could be completely different. Don’t freak out! You're not suddenly incompatible or destined to be doomed. It just means that you both need different things to fill your cup.
Scheduling in time together doesn't make it any less personal. Most of the time, when we think of scheduling, we're thinking boring-arse work meetings, grueling gym sessions and dentist appointments. No wonder we're cringing at the thought of making time for something that should be fun + flirty.
Do you schedule in a holiday? How's the anticipation leading up to that? Does it make you giddy with excitement, busting a gut for it to just hurry up? Its something to look forward to.
Treat locking in time with your love in much the same way.
Our lives are so crazy busy these days its way too easy to let it slide down the priority list. Even if its just spending time at home together, lock it in! You'll both show up knowing full well that its US time, so more chance of switching off and just being there.
So, you know what both you and your partner thrive off romantically. Now what?
You've got the upper hand here, kid! The small, valuable amount of time you get together is now hyper fueled to be spot-on. Its like date night on drugs!
Don’t let anyone tell you…
You can't possibly make it work this way. Its your relationship, not theirs. How they hell would they know?
You're doing it wrong. Says who? If it works for you guys, then it just works! Run with it.
Its not conventional. What is anymore?!
You can't nurture a loving relationship without ample time. A watched flower won't grow any faster.
You should spend your time doing X or Y. No-one can know what sustains your relationship, except you.
Jess May is a relationship coach for women in long-term relationships who want to tap into their heart smarts and create the relationship they desire with the person they already love. A born and bred Aussie, she’s edgy and rowdy, swears a little too much, loves a stiff drink and heavy electric guitar. You can catch Jess rockin’ & rollin’ over at The Fire Stokers, Twitter and Instagram.
Photo Credit: Picjumbo