There IS Crying In Business

Crying In Business

By Ximena Santibañez

Do you remember that line from the movie “A League of Their Own? That moment when Tom Hanks’s character made it very clear that the coach mistreats the female players, and instead of "taking it like a man" one of the players cries.

We've been fed that lie over and over in business. We have been shown that if a woman is to succeed in a "man's world" such as business, she has to be as cold, and ruthless, and insensitive as they are perceived to be in the business world. Well I think it’s time to change that.

I'm done perpetuating the cycle. Particularly because it is a load of dirt piling under the rug of humanity and nurturing inhumanity. We need more crying in business!

We need more men and women who are affected by what goes wrong. We need people who are ashamed and overwhelmed by the evil that surrounds them; but not so much as to be paralysed by fear or crying in a corner. That is not what women do. That is what the male version of women’s role told us we are supposed to do. Yes, we break, and we cry; but we get up, and we do whatever is needed to fix what is broken. We have brought up generation after generation of children—many times neglected by men who decided they had to be all about business. Now we have new generations of men who refuse to buy that lie. We have men who want paternity leave and cherish holding their kids when they cry and won't say "stop crying", or "real men don't cry." 

Now is the time for us to embrace the emotional side of business. To create associations of men and women who allow leaders to be vulnerable and lead by example showing that success comes from overcoming fear, and failure, and self-doubt, and attacks. Perhaps that's why biographical series and movies have become so influential in our times. That is why reality television became so big. We were finally shown that behind closed doors and curtains, success is messy. We began to learn that success came with a cost. 

However, the cost of success reduces thoroughly when more and more humane people take control. You won't do "whatever it takes", because it won't be acceptable.  You won't step over other people, because they will call you out as you do it. You will make mistakes, and you will continue to go down wrong roads, because that is what builds experience and character. But there is enough you will learn on your own, there is no need for people around you to make it any worse. It is not fear of what others do that contains your deepest desires. It is fear of what you can or cannot do that really does if we are truly honest. That fear will prevail, and it will continue to build character even without a destructive competitive survival-of-the-fittest environment.  

So you will cry, and after fighting and struggling you may get to the top. But only if you really took the time to understand what it was like to be down, and learn the lessons that you will need to share and profit from learning after all.

You can find more of Ximena's work here.

Meditation To Reduce Stress

Meditation

By Kristi Ketz

"I don’t like coming and going….I like being.”

What a profound quote!! Don’t ya think? Sounds kind of nice. Is it possible to drop into “being” while still coming and going? That is what I’m trying to do. Because as a multi-passionate entrepreneur, helper, and mom of two awesome little girls, I do a
lot of coming and going. Wait! Back to the quote. Who said that? ME at age 10!!! Apparently I said this on a 12-hour car trip to Florida during our annual family beach vacation when I was 12. I assume I was pretty miserable in the car when I said that! My dad thought it was so
clever that he sent my quote to the Christian Science Monitor where it was published. I must have had a little voice inside all of those years ago that knew the focus on going and coming took away the peace of being. Since that time I have done ANYTHING BUT BE. It was only until I was much older and in my late 30s that I discovered meditation. My first serious introduction was a nine-day mindfulness meditation retreat/training with Jon Kabat-Zinn in 2008. He is largely responsible for brining mindfulness meditation into Western medicine. I
later attended another nine-day retreat/training with his associates from the University of Massachusetts Stress Reduction Program. I have seen the research and have reaped the personal benefits of using meditation to reduce stress and even lowering my blood pressure throughout the labor process with my second daughter. As much as I believe in meditation to reduce stress (and the many other benefits), I
continue to have a really hard time “being”. I still don’t enjoy “going and coming” but that is where I seem to stay much of the time. To-do lists, plans, goals, routines, time management, stress, busyness, feeling frazzled, and on and on. I say I want “to be” but if you looked at my life much of the time you would see a person frantically running from one thing to the next. You would see a person who says “yes” to too
many things. You would see a person looking scattered and unorganised. I claim that I love to relax and slow down but when I do I either feel bored, worry about all of my to-dos, and/or feel guilt for not being productive. I know that I’m not the only one who knows the value of meditation and has difficulty incorporating it into their daily life.

Meditation & Stress

My Meditation Practice and Barriers to Practice
Do I meditate daily? No? I really have been trying. And it helps. It makes a huge difference in my feeling of calm and peace. So, I’ve been meditating much more regularly in the last few months. It is AMAZING how even two minutes can change my mood, outlook, and how my body feels (immediate relaxation, decreased heart rate when stressed, less muscle tension). It really is a quick fix when I use meditation to reduce stress.

With these benefits, why would I have a problem regularly meditating? I don’t think I’m unique. I’ve neglected meditation because “I’M TOO BUSY!!” I’m on a time crunch and have these phone calls, emails, and texts I need to address. There are dishes in the sink and laundry on the couch. These tasks have a visible outcome - I can see the checkmark on my to-do list and know that I am moving forward. The problem is as I check one thing off the list, then more things get added. The list will never end. I have learned that I can spend my days being a slave to the never-ending list or I can take time for myself and my mental and physical health. As I heard Tony Robbins once say, if you don’t have 10 minutes a day you don’t have a life. Good point. If I don’t have 10 minutes a day to use meditation to reduce stress, then I’m really in trouble. So, I’ve been trying.

The Science Behind Meditation to Reduce Stress
I love the science behind meditation. In the past, I saw it as woo woo but there are physical and physiological changes in the body when we meditate. Like……

1. A study at Massachusetts General Hospital Study showed THE BRAIN CAN CHANGE FOLLOWING MEDITATION. Wow!!! Here’s what can change….there is thickening in the parts of the brain associated with learning, memory, and executive decision making. Who doesn’t need a boost in these areas? Also, certain parts of the brain get thinner (the amygdala in particular). This is an exciting finding to me because the amygdala is associated with threat, fear, and anxiety. I’ve dealt with enough anxiety for a lifetime, so if that part of my brain can change in the right direction, I’m all for it.
2. A study from the University of Wisconsin showed a shift in activity in the pre- frontal cortex in locations related to the processing of emotion when under stress. The group that meditated had shifts in activity from more right-sided activity to left-sided activity. Prior to this study, it was thought that the right/left activity in this part of the brain was a fixed trait and that by adulthood you were who you were….nervous or calm. So thankful that does not turn out to be true!!
3. The same study found that those in the meditation group had a better immune response when given the flu shot. As someone who has historically gotten sick after times of stress, wow!! I am all for meditation to reduce stress! I am. I really am. Despite my trying to find every reason in the book to do something else.
4. There was another study with patients with psoriasis who had to have light therapy (which can then lead to skin cancer). The study found that those who meditated during treatment healed four times faster and therefore were able to discontinue the therapy sooner and thereby decreased their risk of skin cancer.

So, How Do I Meditate to Reduce Stress?
In my meditation training, I have learned that in addition to formal meditation there is informal meditation. Informal meditation is what I work toward in the hours and moments that I am not sitting doing a formal meditation. It’s a way of life. A way of being. It is not natural for me. It’s basically being 100% there in the present moment. So, if I’m folding laundry. I’m folding laundry….not thinking about what I am going to do next or what I didn’t get completed today. If I’m watching my girls’ favorite t.v. show with them, my eyes and ears (and brain) are also on the show and not on my phone scrolling Facebook. I’m not reviewing my to-do list in my head while appearing to be paying attention to the show. The more I can do this the more relaxed and calm I feel. I work on awareness of where my thoughts go and repeatedly bring them back to the moment. The thoughts are what are stressful. Either a sad memory. Or a big project that feels overwhelming. Anxiety about something in the future. This letting go and returning to the moment isn’t easy. It feels like a magnet pulling my mind down the rabbit hole of old, persistent thoughts. It is difficult to pull away from those thoughts but is becoming easier with mindfulness meditation. In our fast-paced world we feel we need to be doing, doing, doing. To get ahead. Or sometimes just to stay above water. But, in actuality, it is a pretty well-known fact that if we can “do” less and recharge ourselves, we can then accomplish more in less time. This also applies to multi-tasking. Mindfulness meditation has taught me that by focusing on one task and staying present, I have less stress and am able to complete the task sooner than doing several things at once (like writing an article, working on laundry, and doing the dishes all at once).

So, How Do You Start Using Meditation to Reduce Stress?
As hard as I’ve made it (and I know I’m not alone), meditation is very easy to start. You don’t need any equipment, just the willingness to sit down, be still, and continually redirect your thoughts to the present moment. There are various free apps that provide guided meditations. Feel free to message me for my favorites. I also have a free one available on my website. You can also just set a timer on your phone for as long as you want. One minute to one hour. It doesn’t matter. During that time, just sit down or lie down and pay attention to where your thoughts go and return them to the present. For me, the breath is the easiest anchor point. It’s OK when your mind wanders off because it will. I was taught that being dead is the only way to keep your mind in one place. So, don’t be disappointed when yours doesn’t
stay there. The benefits come from RETURNING your mind to the present not KEEPING it in the present. So, each time you catch it “out there”, congratulate yourself and return it to the present. I’d love to hear from you and see how your practice is going. I’m happy to answer
any questions as you practice.

Big News & A Personal Note About The Future Of Blog Society

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Let's talk about change shall we?

Firstly, let me say that it's been a long while since I've posted here and today I'm doing so with a bit of a personal update and also a call to action for those that might feel aligned with the updates below.

As you may or may not know things have changed quite drastically over here at Blog Society HQ and as with any big life change, it comes with a renowned sense of clarity and focus. My son, Finn, was born in July and I've since been consumed with cuddles, endless coffee and the inherent desire to ensure my business truly felt aligned to this new chapter in my life.
 
*WARNING* This is a loooong post so stay with me.
 
Earlier this year I felt the strong need to create space in order to truly FEEL what was next for myself and Blog Society. Truth be told I'd felt a bit lost, unattached and probably disheartened with the digital space. A piece was missing. I found myself seeking out new projects to sit alongside my existing course, events and clients that would deepen, evolve and better align my business with what was happening in my heart.
 
Put simply, somewhere along the way in my biz journey I'd lost myself - or perhaps I was just afraid to share the 'real' me, instead held down by what I thought was expected - the 'perfect' Instagram pic, the ‘right’ business model or chasing the next big thing.
 
I felt disillusioned with my newsfeed. In an effort to remain 'professional' I seemed to have lost my sense of self and I was craving to be heard. Craving to share with you more honest, real, raw, vulnerable and passionate posts.

To pull back the curtain on what's happening behind the scenes at Blog Society.
To share more personal updates and celebrate the unpolished. 
To have fun.
To post with my heart and head - and truly speak about what's lighting my fire and sparking those creative flames.

 
I was craving clarity, more time to focus on self-care, soul-care, shift my mindset, focus on my health and well-being and realign myself to the very principles Blog Society was founded on -community, collaboration, connection.
 
And so during my pregnancy and subsequent 4th trimester, I dialled things back. And it felt glorious. 

By shedding expectation, I allowed myself to mentally, physically and emotionally recharge. During this process, my health improved and my creative drive returned tenfold. At the centre of this shift was a product that I fell in love with wholeheartedly: essential oils.

This coupled with a hunger to birth new projects, led me to a new business opportunity and...

Today I'm proud to share that I’m building a global doTERRA team as part of Blog Society.
 
I've teamed up with Alice Nicholls of The Whole DailyTara Bliss and a tribe of other kick ass women to help others not only experience the magic of these oils but also help bring a powerful business opportunity to women ready to rise up.

I’m currently building my doTERRA team and reaching out to my tribe to see if you feel called to join me? You can be anywhere in the world, with a business, without, a blog or no blog. This is open to ALL (yes I'm looking at YOU).

This is an opportunity to work directly with Alice and I so if you're curious about learning how to use essential oils, ordering these beauties for your own use, want to attend a class with me or are interested in receiving a sample, simply reach out and say hello.

As I wrap up this post I'm signing off as a braver, healthier, stronger, happier more courageous version of me. Ready to bring my tribe the creative events and courses you've come to know and love but with the addition of a brilliant new biz opportunity empowering women to fearlessly build a business they love while prioritising their own health and well-being.
 
To rising up together and great things ahead.

x Jaclyn

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Biz Health // Calamari & Raw Veggie Salad

Calamari & Raw Salad

By Shani Timms

Hi, I’m Shani from Keep it Simple! I have a strong passion/ obsession for food, health & creating recipes that promote healing in our bodies. For most of my adult life I have suffered from issues with my gut: everything from intolerances, Irritable Bowl Syndrome (I call it FBS, furious bowl syndrome), leaky gut, candida, parasites… you name it – I’ve had it! I like to see these issues as a gift from the universe. At the time, it was hard to see them as a blessing, but now I look back I see these experiences for what they truly are… A gift, a lesson from the universe. Each one taught me a vital lesson in my health and my healing journey and I can honestly say I would not be where I am in my life today without them.

I think this mindset can be applied to many aspects of life… Instead of focusing on the doom & gloom when bad things happen – try thinking ‘what lesson does the universe have in store for me’ or ‘what am I going to learn through this new experience’. Changing your mindset doesn’t happen overnight (I am still learning myself), but I can say that each time it gets easier and really changes the way you respond to situations.

I believe that health & healing needs to be a holistic approach – and optimal gut health is the foundation! Your gut lining & intestinal tract is your last line of defence between the outside world (bacteria, yeasts, infections) and you (your blood stream, organs etc). So you can imagine that any permeability in the gut can allow these externals aggressors to enter your bloodstream where they can cause some serious damage.

Signs you may need to improve your gut health:  

-        Bloating after meals
-        Constipation, diarrhea  
-        Discomfort in the lady areas, prone to thrush, Bacterial Vaginosis etc.
-        Bad Skin – dermatitis, acne, break outs etc.
-        Brain fog – struggle to think straight, mixing up sentences & words.
-        Constantly tired, lethargic, lacking energy
-        Sugar cravings
-        Anxiety
-        You have been on antibiotics, or the pill for an extended period of time

If any of the symptoms above sound familiar, chances are you are experiencing an imbalance of bacteria in your gut, potentially even gut permeability. No need to stress, I have listed below some easy steps you can introduce into your daily routine to help improve your gut health!

Simple tips:

1.     Clean up your diet – This is a critical step in healing your gut. Think lean, green & clean! Remember – you are feeding a disease or fighting it! Eating a diet high in sugar, gluten & dairy creates a perfect breading ground for bad bacteria such as candida!

2.     Take a Probiotic – This is a non-negotiable piece of advice from me! Every woman should be taking one every day (I like to take mine at night so some serious healing can happen over night). There are so many factors that kill our good bacteria in our gut, so we need to ensure we are replacing it daily! 

3.     Detoxify your body – Simple detoxification methods such as having a spoonful of bentonite clay every day can help eliminate toxins. When you go through a transitional period changing your diet, your body is eliminating so many toxins that your liver needs a little help!

4.     Rest up – Did you know that resting your body can be just as beneficial for your body as going to the gym? Without rest, your body cannot complete the essential healing that it needs to do. Also, try to minimise the stress in your life, stress has massive implications on our gut flora! My tip – hit the sheets before 10pm, as this is when the most healing occurs.

5.     Supplements – I am a strong believer in using food as medicine, but when it comes to nutrients that are hard to attain through your diet – supplements are the way to go! My recommendations for gut health, Spirulina tablets (Hawaiian Pacifica is the cleanest & my fave), Apple Cider Vinegar, Iron, L-Glutamine…

6.     Fall in love with the coco - Coconut that is! Coconut in all its forms has amazing benefits for our bodies. I like to have a spoonful of coconut oil a day either by itself, in a tea or smoothie! It has amazing antibacterial properties & supports good gut flora.

7.     Gelatin – This is my secret weapon for healing my gut! I’m not talking about the clear gelatin that your granny used to make jellies – this is pure, food grade gelatin, bought from your health food store. Gelatin helps repair the gut & intestinal tract lining, it also absorbs excessive water & fluid in your body… Bye bye bloating & fluid retention!

Calamari & Raw Veggie Salad Recipe
Simple is best when it comes to busy ladies preparing healthy meals! This meal is ready in under 10 mins & is jam packed with raw veggies to fuel your body! Did you know your diet should consist of 50% raw vegetables? This is so we don’t loose a lot of the nutrients through various cooking processes. So check out this super easy recipe below & I would love to see your creations by tagging @keep.it.simple.shani & #keepitsimpleshani!

Generously serves 2- GF – DF – YF - SF

Simple Recipe:

-        ½ cup of quinoa, cooked as per packet instructions
-        1 carrot, zoodled
-        1 zucchini, zoodled
-        Small bag of rocket, washed
-        1 spring onion, finely chopped
-        1/2 lime juiced & 2 wedges for serving
-        2 large handfuls of calamari
-        1 birds eye chili, chopped finely
-        Dash of tamari, coconut aminos or Braggs all purpose soy
-        Olive oil for dressing

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Simple Method:

1. Season your calamari with olive oil, salt & pepper.
2. Heat chosen oil in a pan (Coconut oil is best for cooking at these high temperatures, but olive oil works fine too).
3. Add calamari to your hot pan, cook until it started to brown! Remove from heat once cooked.
4. Add all salad ingredients & quinoa to a large mixing bowl, add your dressing (lime juice, tamari & olive oil) and using tongs, mix thoroughly.
5. Separate salad mixture into separate bowls, top with the calamari, lime wedge & chili to taste!

Enjoy! #keepitsimpleshani

**DISCLAIMER: These views are my opinion & represent my experiences**

How to End Time Stealers & Manage Your Time Better

By Karen Lynn

When you are trying to balance growing your career with taking care of your family, it is nearly impossible to fit everything you need to do into a 24-hour period.  You may find yourself looking at the clock and realize it’s later than you thought it was, and think “Where did the time go?”  We have all been there.  However, if you feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day every day, you may be struggling with time management.  These 7 tips will help you use your time more efficiently so you can get more done and feel less stress!

Plan Your Day
Too much time is spent not sure what to do next or feeling scattered.  You get to work and you spend 10 minutes sitting at your desk not sure where to start, or you dive into one project, then halfway through you start something else.  When you get to your office, before you start sending emails or making calls, plan out your day as a combination to-do list, and schedule where you can determine what you need to do and schedule the time to make it happen.

Prioritize Your Day
As you create your daily plan, make sure you set your two or three highest priority items at the top and get those done first.  Not only is this great for taking care of your business, but it gives you a great sense of accomplishment!  Don’t set more than two or three items as high-priority though, or you’ll stress yourself out.  Getting in touch with a distributor about a missed shipment and vacuuming your office rug are not on the same level of priority.

Shut Off Social Media
Social media can be amazing, but it can easily turn into a huge time waster.  A one minute tweet about your business can turn into liking friends’ vacation pictures and taking quizzes about what type of person you are based on your astrological sign.  If you use it for your business, use a site like Hootsuite to create a few days’ worth of content and schedule your social media posts, or block out a time each day to post on social media and follow up.  

Take a Lunch
Spending all day plugging away at work seems like you’ll get more done than if you take breaks, but that isn’t necessarily true. Your brain does need some down time, and you need to re-fuel.  Schedule your lunch for a specific time.  You will naturally work more quickly to finish projects before your scheduled lunch time than if you were planning on eating while you work or skipping it altogether.  Plus, when you return to your work, you’ll have a refreshed mind and outlook.

Set Boundaries
If you work from home or you receive a lot of interruptions from others while you are working, those interruptions can eat into your productivity.  Stopping your project to take care of something else, then having to find your place and get back into it is a major time-stealer!  If you struggle with unnecessary interruptions, put up a “Do Not Disturb” sign.   This doesn’t work if you have customers or clients who need you and you need them, but it helps with children and co-workers if you work in an office.  If you worry about hurting feelings, but you can’t be interrupted, tell the person, “I want to devote 100 percent of my attention to helping you, and I can’t if this project is hanging over me.  Let me finish this, and I can give you my full attention.”  

Avoid Multi-tasking
Trying to do two (or more!) projects at once seems like a great idea, in theory.  However, dividing your focus actually takes an overall longer amount of time than if you would have done one task first, then the second one.  You are also much more likely to make an error if you divide your concentration and having to correct it will waste even more time.  Start a project, finish it to completion, then more onto the next thing.  If you get an unavoidable interruption, focus on that until you can transition back to your original project.

Delegate Tasks
It’s easy to slip into the “I’ll do it myself” mindset.  You know that when you do something, it is done to your specific standards, and it’s hard to let go of that control.  However, if you have employees working for you, you hired them to help you.  Let them help you.  The same goes for kids, too.  If you’re tired of coming home to a messy house, even the smallest child can help pick up the mess.  Don’t be afraid to let others shoulder some of the load.

For more information and great tips on how to de-stress your busy mom life, click here to sign up for my free newsletter and receive a free gift. I also offer a free complimentary phone session if you’d like to take advantage of this opportunity and de-stress your life.


Karen Lynn is a certified Life & Holistic Health Coach and the founder of CoachKarenLynn and the creator of the “From Frazzled to Fabulous” programs. Which helps mom entrepreneurs find health, balance and an amazing life of their own design.

Karen Lynn mentors mom entrepreneurs to create time in their busy days, so they can feel focused, relaxed and productive in their business & their lives. As a single mom who has worked in both the corporate world, and has owned own businesses, Karen understands the challenges that busy working moms are facing these days.  She designs her programs to fit easily into a busy moms lifestyle. She is a Certified Life Coach and Holistic Health Coach, with 10 years experience in the Health & Wellness field.

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash